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Admission essay excerpt
I can’t say that I have a very promising start. I’ve been out of school for 10 years and is now a mother of three. However, I wouldn’t want to change anything in my life, even if I have the chance, because whatever happened in the past made me persevere more. I believe that it’s never too late to think about getting a college degree and be the first in the family to do so. I want to set a good example to my children and prove to them that any adversity is no excuse to get stuck in the same place and situation. I’ve always been fascinated with how the body works and took interest in MRIs and X-rays when I got the chance to work in a hospital. Finally discovering my passion, I would like to apply for a Radiology program at _________ and be a professional radiologist to fulfill my dreams and aim for a better future for my family.
Sample outline:
I. Introduction
A. Talking about personal hardships
i. being a mother of 3
ii. out of school for 10 years
iii. being the first to get a college degree in the family
B. Talking about my motivations
i. believing that I’m not too old to go back to college
ii. setting a good example to my children
C. Applying for a radiology program at ______
i. fascination about the way the body works
ii. fascination about X Rays and MRIs
iii. discovering what I love to do
iv. providing a better future to my family
II. My experience
A. working as volunteer in Breash Health at ______
i. helping the technicians get the rooms ready and preparing the records
ii. assisting patients, making sure that they’re comfortable
B. 3 years experience as EKG tech at _________
C. 13 years experience as a nursing assistant at _______
D. working as manager in casino in-between health care jobs
III. My interest in the health care field
A. wanting to work in the health care field even as a young child
B. helping others brings great joy and satisfaction
C. growing fascination with the technical side of things
D. observing technicians at ___hospital during my free time
IV. Going back to college
A. Getting the support of my family
i. taking pride that I will be the first to get a college degree in the family
ii. helping me watch over my children when I go back to school
B. Making it happen
i. believing that I can create a better future for my family
ii. being fully dedicated to what I love to do
C. Personal attributes
i. multi-tasker
ii. dedicated
iii. interest in helping others and other community
iv. having good grades
v. being fully motivated
College admissions procedures sure require you to do a lot of writing. The two biggest writing tasks associated with college admissions procedures are the admissions essay and the letter of recommendation. These are crucial because they are not just credentials, they also basically give the college admissions people an idea as to what kind of personality you might have and what your principles or idealisms are.
The only catch with this system is if you, the prospective college student, insists that you’re having grand difficulty stringing words and sentences together and if just the sight of a long paragraph scares you, don’t worry. There are sample college application essays available online you could use as a guide and people to go to for letters of recommendation. Here are some things that you need to consider when you ask people to write letters of recommendation for you.
A quick search on the Internet for sample college application essays will yield rewarding results. These sample essays usually have themes that are most commonly used in college applications. You can use these samples when you make your own personal college application essay. Remember that you should take the time to write a good essay because it can be the deciding factor whether you get accepted or not.
Regarding letters of recommendation, colleges would usually require the applicant to get somebody from their alma mater to write them. How to zero in who makes your letter of recommendation? Here are some tips:
* He or she must not be your relative. But he or she should be somebody whom you have closely worked with in the past, and who surely knows your capacity.
* He or she must be a credible figure in the school, such as a professor, principal, or guidance counselor.
* Out of respect, he or she must be someone who has the time to write a letter of recommendation for you.
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Question:
“You have just completed your 300 page autobiography. Please submit page 217″
My hands are clammy as I climbed up the stage. I was here at ___ University’s stage just twenty years ago, as a graduate accepting her diploma. I worked so hard in those four years in college. And I supported myself through student loans and TA work. I survived and got my degree. Resilience helped me through those times – it was hard to not have money in the bank, and needs and dreams that had to be fulfilled. I ploughed through; I had long decided that it was not me to be limited by the size of my wallet or whatever limitations life presented me. By my third year, I was even president of the debate team, and editor of the college newspaper. I knew my special talent was my ability to weave words into beautiful logical structures that affect people and make a difference in their lives. This was also the time I got the idea of establishing my own publishing company, for which I had to start from scratch, pockets empty as what I’d been used to.
As I climb the stage now to deliver this year’s commencement speech, I think of the words I wrote – the lines I wove. I had always been in love with the written word; yet, in my nervousness, I feel a tinge of doubt. Will what I say now make a difference in the graduates’ lives?
As I built my publishing company, I encountered some challenges. Funding was not consistent so I held off paying myself and even moonlighted as writer to get extra capital. I found fulfillment in writing because I learned so much. I became open to so many ideas, and I realized that it is in diversity that we are so rich – diversity in people, experiences and realities. The words I wrote part-time, to support a dream, brought together people who later on became my friends and allies. They came to me with their own unique strengths and talents. With their help, and with the hard work and resilience that had buoyed me through life’s trials, I was able to put together a stronger and happier publishing company.
I turn to my words now, those I wrote to inspire this year’s graduates; and I regain my confidence. It has been through these creations of mine that I learned so much and gained so much. I face a diverse crowd. I know that when they step out into the world as graduates they will trek a path towards their own dreams. And each one will add to this world. They just have to work hard, adjust positively to changes, and remain open. I deliver my speech without much pomp. My message is simple. And as I walk off the stage, I wish that what I said gave each one of my listeners the courage to get out their and fulfill their dreams.
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Q: What do you believe to be your generation’s greatest challenge?
The problems that beset our nation today are sad but familiar issues. We are at war in a foreign country. In our own land, some people have to battle hunger. At the same time, while I graduate this spring from one of the country’s best private high school, some kids my age graduate without even knowing how to read. War, poverty and illiteracy remain very real in America. Unfortunately, these problems are not new – they have been around since we became a nation.
There is one problem though that became more apparent in recent times. With the advent of the internet, the world has become smaller. Certain situations may require us to interact, chat or work with peoples of different races. We might not even get to see them but through the web, we form some kind of connection. The problem arises when we give in to our fear, the fear of all that is different.
Realities today are different such that before, we can conduct business locally, with people like us and with habits and attitudes that we are used to. Today, the world is literally your market. You can sell your product to anywhere across the globe. You can also get help, or contractor support from practically anyone, anywhere.
This globalized scenario brings together different cultures; and sometimes, our initial reaction would be to shun anything and anyone different from us. We choose to retreat into our comfort zones, disregarding what opportunities there may be out there for new business or new friends.
The problem of fearing all that is different may come with dire consequences if we do not do something about it. Our generation may be left behind in this revolutionized world trade. At the same, we may also be missing out on more efficient ways of developing and selling our products and services. If we let go of this fear of what is different, we let diverse ideas in. we can improve the way we do things. At the same time, we are empowered by a greater understanding of everyone else.
It may not be easy to address this problem. I think we are taught to keep to ourselves, and “be American.” But we can do something. We can start now. I try to conquer my fear by taking a foreign language class. I also intend to travel abroad when I get a chance and experience their culture first-hand.
I think we can face this issue head on once we accept that this is now the norm – that we have to change our attitudes in order to improve ourselves. I think that in the end, if we do this, we end up creating a positive and understanding environment as we go about our daily lives and as we struggle to succeed in our chosen careers. In choosing to understand others, we also end up understanding ourselves better.
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Not many people my age know what they want to be, much less know it even when they were young. I am different from my peers such that I knew ever since that I wanted to be an architect. It started with a box of Legos that was given to me as a gift. Since then, that box of Legos was my pastime of choice. Everything else, every gadget or toy that was given me, became accessories to my latest creations. I found it greatly satisfying to be able to make real the visions I had in my mind. These were simple structures that I made out of plastic blocks – yet to me, they were beautiful and my own.
I have nurtured this need for creation ever since. I draw and sculpt as hobbies. Likewise, I have become interest in logic and mathematic, knowing that they are integral to everything we do and create.
I am sure in my desire to be an architect and to create structures that people will proudly live and work in. I want a career wherein I get to design and create buildings that are unique, stylish, and most importantly safe. At the same time, I am doubly driven to strive for this because of recent calamities, such as the immense physical destruction brought by Hurricane Katrina. I want to gain the best education available so that, in the future, I can create more architecturally sound structures that will withstand nature’s worst.
To prepare myself for this application, I shadowed a woman, who was a partner in a multi-city architectural company. I thought it was just right to be sure about my decision; I should know what an architect’s reality is and what I would be getting myself into. I saw her spend long hours at work. A lot of her time was spent in negotiations with clients and contractors; and in preparing code analyses. She only spent about an hour in front of her design table. But then again, through this, I saw her joy as she went about her daily duties. She liked what she did, and she told me that all of it was part of a project’s development. In the end, every effort she made was for the next structure that she designed for construction.
I want that for my life. I want a future wherein I am a part of developing our nation’s landscape, and creating sound structures that people can be secure in. Even though I am just fresh out of high school, I am sure of it. To become an architect would be a fulfillment of a lifelong dream. It is where destiny has been pointing me to. It is where my interest and abilities lie.
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